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Resilience Development in Action
Discover practical resilience strategies that transform lives. Join Steve Bisson, licensed mental health counselor, as he guides first responders, leaders, and trauma survivors through actionable insights for mental wellness and professional growth.
Each week, dive deep into real conversations about grief processing, trauma recovery, and leadership development. Whether you're a first responder facing daily challenges, a leader navigating high-pressure situations, or someone on their healing journey, this podcast delivers the tools and strategies you need to build lasting resilience.
With over 20 years of mental health counseling experience, Steve brings authentic, professional expertise to every episode, making complex mental health concepts accessible and applicable to real-world situations.
Featured topics include:
• Practical resilience building strategies
• First responder mental wellness
• Trauma recovery and healing
• Leadership development
• Grief processing
• Professional growth
• Mental health insights
• Help you on your healing journey
Each week, join our community towards better mental health and turn your challenges into opportunities for growth with Resilience Development in Action.
Resilience Development in Action
E.213 Finding Strength Through Relationships: Lessons From Five Decades
Turning fifty isn't just about crossing an age threshold—it's about recognizing the human connections that build resilience throughout a lifetime. In this deeply personal episode, therapist Steve Bisson reflects on the relationships that have shaped his capacity for strength, growth, and recovery across five decades.
Steve begins by honoring his parents, whose contrasting yet complementary influences established his foundation. His father, who lacked a paternal role model yet became an exceptional dad himself, taught Steve about honesty and critical thinking. His mother—a glass-ceiling breaker before the term existed—demonstrated determination through her 47-year career and instilled feminist principles that continue to guide Steve's professional approach. Together, they exemplified loyalty, work ethic, and perseverance that became cornerstones of his resilience framework.
The episode takes listeners through Steve's "Three Musketeers" friendship with Joce and Frank—a bond spanning 38 years that has weathered countless challenges. Through emotional storytelling, Steve reveals how these lifelong connections, along with other key friendships, professional relationships, and even his therapy clients, have collectively taught him different aspects of resilience. Perhaps most touching is his tribute to his teenage daughters, who continue to teach him patience, emotional expression, and growth even as they navigate their own challenges.
Steve's resilience journey illuminates how our capacity to overcome obstacles isn't built in isolation but through meaningful connections that sustain us. Whether you're approaching a milestone birthday, reflecting on your support network, or simply curious about the human factors behind emotional strength, this episode offers valuable insights into how relationships shape our ability to navigate life's inevitable challenges. What voices have built your resilience? Listen and reflect on the people who've helped you become who you are today.
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Welcome to Resilience Development in Action, where strength meets strategy and courage to help you move forward. Each week, your host, steve Bisson, a therapist with over two decades of experience in the first responder community, brings you powerful conversations about resilience, growth and healing through trauma and grief. Through authentic interviews, expert discussions and real-world experiences, we dive deep into the heart of human resilience. We explore crucial topics like trauma recovery, grief processing, stress management and emotional well-being. This is Resilience Development in Action with Steve Bisson get freeai.
Speaker 2:You heard me talk about it. I'm going to keep on talking about it because I love it. I've had about a year and a half 18 months practice with it and I still enjoy it and it saves me time and it saves me energy. Freeai takes your note. Your note makes a transcript of what you're talking with a client. Just press record and it does either transcript, it does a subjective and an objective, with a letter if needed for your client and for whoever might need it. So for $99 a month, it saves me so much time that it's worthwhile. And if you do it for a whole year, guess what? You get 10% off. More importantly, this is what you got to remember because you are my audience that listens to Resilience Development in Action. If you do listen to this and you want to use freeai, put in the code Steve50 in the promo code area Steve50, and you will get $50 off in addition to everything we just talked about. Get freed from writing your notes, get freed from even writing your transcripts. Use that to your advantage. Freeai a great service. Go to get freeai and you will get one of the best services that will save you time and money and I highly encourage you to do so will save you time and money, and I highly encourage you to do so.
Speaker 2:Well, hi everyone, and welcome to episode 213. If you haven't listened to episode 212, it is with LeapOV Go listen to it. We'll have the follow-up in about two weeks from today, so two episodes from now. So 215, I believe, is going to be his follow-up because we cut the interview short, great guy, that's why it was so long.
Speaker 2:But today is kind of a self-indulgent, my own whims. It's my birthday coming and I don't know for everyone. Everyone talks about the big ones, whether it's the big four or the big two one or the big eight, one, eight or whatever, or 70 or whatever. I don't really care. I'm going to be turning 50 this Saturday as the episode airs, and I'm so excited because 50 is, I guess, a milestone. I don't know if it's a milestone for everyone, but certainly for a lot of people. For me, it's like another day really, as you know. I don't know, I just think it's another day.
Speaker 2:But because it's a podcast that talk about resilience and all that, I want to tell you how my gut, my resilience and my resilience starts with three important people. I don't have brothers or sisters, but I do have a mom and dad and if it wasn't for them, you know my parents, you know. You know my parents, you know, didn't grow up exactly rich. I didn't live through that and they survived and they're good, you know. They taught me about the importance of work ethic. They also taught me about how to communicate, and sometimes they taught me by showing me not how to communicate. But all joking aside, mom, sorry, I do believe that my parents really brought me a long way. My dad did not have a dad to show him the ropes, so my dad did one hell of a job. Rest in peace, dad. But he also taught me about being honest. He listened to music that wasn't popular at the time. He also was someone who had his own thought process. I know a lot of people in Canada have joked to me that your dad should have been an American, and he was in a certain extent.
Speaker 2:I was born and raised in the Montreal area and lived there all his life. But my dad taught me about a lot of history not repeating itself and if you don't know what it is, it's going to repeat itself. I should say so. I learned a lot from that. I learned a lot from my mom. My mom, you know, was very caring but very busy. She was, you know, before there's a glass ceiling, my mom was breaking it, so there was no glass ceiling. She was, you know, always having a big job and I think I get my feminism and my support of women and doing the right thing because of her work in the HR. Again, just a self-made woman, blue collar for the most part, but she grew up and became someone in the HR department I don't know the name of the company anymore. It did change several times. That's where my parents met. In the last iteration my mom was involved was called MTS. Ironically, mts in French when you do those initials it means STDs. So it didn't go well in Quebec for that company, but ultimately my mom retired from there after 47 years. My dad worked in that same company for 43. So I learned the importance of loyalty too and that's what my parents brought me and I'm very happy and I carry that to this day.
Speaker 2:You know my my little podcast sometimes gets a lot of hits, sometimes it doesn't, and it's a labor of love. I mean, I don't know if you guys know about podcasts, but you know I'm not making money off of this. I don't care in some ways, but I also would like to. So obviously there's a couple of buttons you can click. If you want to buy me a coffee or something, you can go check that out. It's going to be in the show notes. But ultimately my parents say don't give up. And my mom taught me that too and you know it was my dad was not doing well, her mom didn't do well. We stayed close and we made decisions together and to this day my mom keeps you know in her talk and I'm so grateful she's alive, I'm so grateful she's around and I love her, so very happy to have her.
Speaker 2:The other people that I would say that I've really had an influence in my life are my best friends. I've got three best friends. Joss and Frank have been with me since age 12. We were even nicknamed in high school the Three Musketeers. High school started since seventh grade in Quebec no-transcript, but Joss and Frank, through thick and thin over, there'll be 38 years in September. We stuck through a lot of difficulties. We stuck together in support and my friend Joss even moved here with his now wife, beatrice, for about three, four years, maybe a little more. I don't remember, but you know Joss kept me grounded.
Speaker 2:Joss is a funny guy. Not everybody gets him, but I do, thankfully. And Joss is a very, very thoughtful person. He thinks so well and he's really good at it. And besides being funny his thought process always intrigues me because he's always curious and I think I get a little bit of that from him. I think my dad was always curious. But I also give credit with Joss. Sometimes he'd give me some stuff and I'd have to research it, even in psychology. He's a computer I don't even know what his title is, works with computers and he worked with big companies Not here to plug any companies because they're not paying me. Then my buddy, frank, who is more of a very methodical, logical person Not that Joss is not logical or I, but Frank is definitely the cerebral guy, doesn't let his emotions run over. He taught me the importance of never giving up.
Speaker 2:So again, me and him were, in a quote, slow class in high school. And just keep in mind, our high school was like kind of a kind of a nerd school, as I call it. They took the best students from I don't know, ended up like 10 towns or something like that, and we all went there. It was a public school but we all went there and so we put me and Frank in a slow class and we were friends before that but we really got close. We started there. Somewhere deep down in some boxes at house is house or my house, or both books upon books of notes that we would exchange during math class. Then, to give you an idea how slow me and my buddy Frank were uh, frank's now mechanical engineer and again, I'm a little slow in math, so I won't keep myself there, but ultimately I'm also. You know we would correct the teacher on his math in that class. So we were moved from that and it was good. But it's one of my best memories of Frank and we had a great time in that class. We also really had fun growing up together and Frank's the guy just like Joss hey, frank, I need a favor. Okay, do the favor. I won't even ask twice Steve, I need a favor. Same thing Now. That's another loyalty thing that I really learned.
Speaker 2:Helen is also one of my greatest friends. We grew up, we were in high school together. I don't think we were close to about the equivalent to grade 10 here, grade 11. And we've been through a lot together. What I like about her, too, is she's very thoughtful, she's very caring, and we always have the greatest discussions. There's never been a mask, there's never been a pretend. When we weren't doing good, we weren't doing good. We weren't doing bad, we were doing bad, and we always were able to be truthful with each other. And she's always been there for me through thick and thin. I'd like to think I was there for her too. She's an occupational therapist, recently retired, but we still talk about health, the importance of it and everything else that goes with that, and she taught me a whole lot. So thank you, helen. And I don't want to forget to mention their spouse. Is just as wife as Beatrice, amazing woman too, really, really one of the best people I've ever met, even though she's from France. Okay, no letters, no hate, it's a joke. She'll get it, and if you don't get it, don't write to me, it's just a joke.
Speaker 2:Natalie is Frank's partner, and she's also someone who I kind of grew up with and always been supportive of me, and I really appreciate her. And then Dave, who's been with Helen since high school, is also a great guy. We talk a lot about baseball, we miss the Montreal Expos. But Dave is another guy who you know. We were in the smart English class yeah, go figure, but we just had a good time overall. And those other friends I want to mention my buddy Ruel, who's from the Netherlands, now an smart English class yeah, go figure, but we just had a good time overall. Those other friends I want to mention my buddy Rule, who's from the Netherlands, now an American citizen like me. He was the partner of my ex-wife's friend. We bonded over several things soccer, slash, european football but also as people who were married to women, who went to a women's college and nothing bad. Nothing bad, but we joke around that we survived, that we're both divorced now and shout out to both of them. My ex-wife was someone I really respect still to this day. We had our differences but I hopefully I've always shown respect to her, even in our divorce, which is Cindy, and then Ruel's ex-wife, april, who have also, hopefully, always been respectful and for her life and thank her for that.
Speaker 2:Courtney Romanowski, who's been a co-host here, who is my colleague and I met her about 10 years ago at a program and I was her supervisor and that's weird, but I mean Courtney really developed a strong bond and we talked about life. We talked about everything that goes with the difficulties of being a therapist, doing it on our own, stuff, like that. She's also a great human being. We bond over so many things food mostly at this point, and I'm kidding but I just love her to death and happy to have Courtney in my life, and what I think she brings most to me is a different point of view. As a therapist who works with mostly first responders, as you guys know, I need a different point of view sometimes and Courtney is always there for me and I appreciate that.
Speaker 2:Donna Marie met her through my old agency advocates. We'll talk about advocates for a short while. But Donna marie was, uh, someone who I made the document I moved here. There was no information for canadians to move to the us and how it goes, so I created a document. Um, donna marie meets me a couple months after I made the document and she goes. I meet her at the group home. She's like are you steve? I'm like, yeah, she goes. Yeah, your documents sucked anyway. You want to go out tonight? We want to go grab something.
Speaker 2:It wasn't anything, just friendly, and we ended up bonding over several years. We both got busy. We don't get to talk as much as we wish, but Don Marie is someone who's really strong and I know I can count on. And same thing applies to her husband, jay Ball, who has been on the podcast. I think I ended up being closer to Jay for a while. Jay's also a busy guy, does a lot of different things, but Jay taught me a lot about the military, taught me a lot about being, you know, work in the first responder world Not that I worked in it, but he told me about his experiences, what's good, what's not good, and he's always been there for me too. If I call him, he pulls a favor, doesn't ask twice, vice versa, and you don't find a whole lot of strong people like that anymore. And thank you to Jay and Donna Marie too.
Speaker 2:I think that Bill Duanels, who's been on the podcast, who's also my business partner for a program called Fortress, and if you want more information, we're happy to share it with you privately. We're trying to get it done in a couple of departments across the state and hopefully we do so sooner rather than later. But Bill is someone I worked with at the crisis team. We lost touch for a while, but he was friends with my ex-wife Friendly, I should say, I don't know if they were close and in recent years we've started a company. We work together regularly and we have a lot of thought process. I think that Bill showed me the importance of a stoic thought process but also being truthful. Not that I lie, but even in business you got to be even more truthful, and sometimes I would be mindful of not saying anything, and Bill taught me like no, got to be even more truthful, and sometimes I would be mindful of not saying anything, and Bill taught me like no, just be honest. That's among the other things he's done for me, but that's what I would thank Bill for.
Speaker 2:I want to thank my kids, catherine and Christina. They taught me so much about life and they still do every day. I have a little tear in my eye because I'm so happy to have him in my life. I'm lucky they still talk to me. You know it's the summertime thing. They off a week and I get to spend time with them and they're teenage girls and they're probably the most important thing in my life and sorry for my breakup of my voice, but I love them. They teach me how to be more patient. They teach me how to show my emotion. They also teach me how it is hard to be a teenage girl and it's hard to be a dad of a teenage girl, but somehow we really grow together and I can't thank them enough for that. Well, I didn't think I'd get emotional, but here we are.
Speaker 2:I want to thank also advocates. I mentioned them earlier. Advocates, the company that brought me here in 1999, hired me in November of 1998. I was supposed to come here, get my education, get the hell out of here. Turns out you meet someone, cindy, and you have kids and you start loving America and you still love the United States of America. I don't want to get political. There's times I don't, sometimes I do. But I love this country and I love the people and I'm so happy that I'm here today. I miss Canada. I miss Quebec More than anything else. I don't get to speak French much anymore Still haven't lost my accent, apparently but I can feel it. It's going to go and that's the worst thing that I can say about where I'm at.
Speaker 2:My clients taught me so much. I terminate with my clients and I tell them what they thought me while we were working together. I don't. Folks certainly terminate them, it's when therapy has run its course, but they're amazing. And then I want to thank my guests who've been on this podcast over the course of three and a half years not quite, but around there they taught me a whole lot. They brought me some different point of views. Never thought I wanted to know more about overcoming the fear of dogs than I did working on this podcast.
Speaker 2:Shout out to Stephanie, and then got to meet great people that are become friends. And then different Stephanie but shout out to Stephanie for that one too. Stephanie Simpson, who's a friend, who's someone who's friends with Courtney too, but ended up being very close to her. My fellow colleagues I can't go through all the names. I'm going to forget someone, so I'd rather not say from the group homes, especially Kurt, the crisis team, and I'm going to mention a couple of people that I really enjoyed working with, including Jen and Kelly, my good friend. Rest in peace. Christina, coco and I'm going to forget names, I'm going to stop there.
Speaker 2:I learned so much from you guys, and you keep on challenging me and making me grow, and now I have a lot of people who have come after me, who look up to me and I can't thank enough all my colleagues I had on the crisis team, at the parole office, at the parole office, at the probation office, people I worked with in the jail, worked in the community, with the police, particularly Framingham, and the people I met through the drug courts, through Newton PD and Framingham but Worcester PD. Those are the people who taught me a lot and I learned so much and I can't thank these guys enough. And, frankly, I want to finish off with someone who's been important in my life for the last few years, last three years. She's been on the podcast too Anna Meyer, she's my girlfriend and you move here, you stay for love, you get through a divorce. Now you go fuck this shit. You're going to stay here just for a short while. At the end of the day, you end up meeting someone who challenges you but loves you, and I challenged back and Sheila, and I love her too, and she's been such an important person in my life. She's accepted my kids for who they are. She's accepted me minus the graphic t-shirts that you don't get to see today for who I am, and we grow and grow and next week well, actually, when this is being broadcast, this is all automatic after a while.
Speaker 2:I'm recording about a week before, but it's going to be automatic. It's going to come out next Wednesday during my week of vacation and I'll be in Maine and she's the one who pushed me to do that. I'm going to have most of the friends I mentioned that are coming and I'll be happy to see them, but Anna is the one who really shows me how to put myself first, once they care of me and bust my balls just enough so that I stay humble, which I'd give my family, my parents and everyone else in my life the same gumption, because I never want to be admired or put on a pedestal, because I'm just a human being. The Buddhists in me will always tell you I'm just a human being, just like Buddha was, and that's that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, self-indulgent, you didn't want to hear the story. Don't listen to the episode. If you listen to it, give me some feedback. But thank you, audience. If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't be doing this and, yes, sometimes my audience is big, sometimes it's small, but having an audience is just a gift and I love you guys. I wouldn't do it if I didn't like it and love you, and hopefully you continue getting something out of it.
Speaker 2:So, keeping that in mind, behind the badge and beyond, this is a group that we started here in Massachusetts. We're hoping to go to england and everything else, but we started them and it's aaron, it's richard, it's lisa, it's alexa, and then there's me forgetting someone, aaron. Sorry, aaron, but this is the group that originally started a couple, couple maybe a year and a half ago. They joined let me join in and we're doing fantastic work. So you get to listen to that episode next week or next episode, I should say, it's not always next week for everyone listening and I thank you for your time and be safe this summer. And again, I know I said in the last episode I'm going to say it again Rest in peace, jay. I miss you.
Speaker 1:Please like, subscribe and follow this podcast on your favorite platform. A glowing review is always helpful and, as a reminder, this podcast is for informational, educational and entertainment purposes only. If you're struggling with a mental health or substance abuse issue, please reach out to a professional counselor for consultation. If you are in a mental health crisis, call 988 for assistance. This number is available in the United States and Canada.
